All day, people poured into Asano Park. This private estate was far enough away from the explosion so that its bamboos, pines, laurel, and maples were still alive, and the green place invited refugees-partly because they believed that if the Americans came back, they would bomb only buildings; partly because the foliage seemed a center of coolness and life, and the estate's exquisitely precise rock gardens, with their quiet pools cure; and also partly (according to some who were there) because of an irresistible, atavistic urge to hide under leaves. Mrs. Nakamura and her Children were among the first to arrive, and they settled in the bamboo grove near the river. They all felt terribly thirsty, and they drank from the river. At once they were nauseated and began vomiting, and they retched the whole day. Others were also nauseated; they all thought (probably because of the strong odor of ionization, an "electric smell" given off by the bomb's fission) that they were sick from a gas the Americans had dropped. When father Kleinsorge and the other priest came into the park, nodding to their friends as they passed, the Nakamuras were all sick and prostrate. A woman named Iwasaki, who lived at the neighborhood of the mission and who was sitting near the Nakamuras, got up and asked the priest if she should stay where she was or go with them. Father Kleinsorge said, "I hardly know where the safest place is." She stayed there, and later in the day, thought she had no visible wounds or burns, she died. The priest went farther along the river Settled down in some underbrush. Father LaSalle lay down and went right to sleep. The theological student, who was wearing slippers, had carried with him a bundle of clothes, in which he had packed two pairs of leather shoes. When he sat down with the others, he found that the bundle had broken open and a couple of shoes had fallen out and now he had only tow lefts. He retraced his steps and found one right. When he rejoined the priest, he said, "It's funny, but things don't matter any more. Yesterday, my shoes were my most important possessions. Today, I don't care. One pair is enough." (P 35-36)
Could this paragraph be divided into at least two smaller paragraphs? Leave a comment to address this question and explain your position.
3 comments:
Revision:
All day, people poured into Asano Park. This private estate was far enough away from the explosion so that its bamboos, pines, laurel, and maples were still alive, and the green place invited refugees-partly because they believed that if the Americans came back, they would bomb only buildings; partly because the foliage seemed a center of coolness and life, and the estate's exquisitely precise rock gardens, with their quiet pools cure; and also partly (according to some who were there) because of an irresistible, atavistic urge to hide under leaves.
Mrs. Nakamura and her Children were among the first to arrive, and they settled in the bamboo grove near the river. They all felt terribly thirsty, and they drank from the river. At once they were nauseated and began vomiting, and they retched the whole day. Others were also nauseated; they all thought (probably because of the strong odor of ionization, an "electric smell" given off by the bomb's fission) that they were sick from a gas the Americans had dropped.
When father Kleinsorge and the other priest came into the park, nodding to their friends as they passed, the Nakamuras were all sick and prostrate. A woman named Iwasaki, who lived at the neighborhood of the mission and who was sitting near the Nakamuras, got up and asked the priest if she should stay where she was or go with them. Father Kleinsorge said, "I hardly know where the safest place is." She stayed there, and later in the day, thought she had no visible wounds or burns, she died.
The priest went farther along the river Settled down in some underbrush. Father LaSalle lay down and went right to sleep. The theological student, who was wearing slippers, had carried with him a bundle of clothes, in which he had packed two pairs of leather shoes. When he sat down with the others, he found that the bundle had broken open and a couple of shoes had fallen out and now he had only tow lefts. He retraced his steps and found one right. When he rejoined the priest, he said, "It's funny, but things don't matter any more. Yesterday, my shoes were my most important possessions. Today, I don't care. One pair is enough.
The original paragraph can divided into four paragraphs. This first paragraph told about the condition after bombing. The second paragraph told about the health condition of Mrs. Nakamura and her children. The third paragraph is focus on what father Kleinsorge saw in the Asano Park. The forth paragraph is focus on the theological student's feeling about his shoes.
I Completely agree. The author changed ideas four times in the same paragraph. For this reason we can separate it into the four diffrent paragraphs that Chinyin stated above.
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